After having a baby, parenting decisions can start to feel much bigger than they actually are. What begins as: “What feels right for our family?” can slowly turn into: “What if I make the wrong choice and harm my child?” You may find yourself overthinking decisions for hours, researching endlessly, comparing yourself to other parents online, or feeling intense guilt when the “ideal” option does not feel realistic or sustainable.

If you’ve found yourself suddenly snapping, feeling constantly irritable, or wondering “Why am I so angry after having a baby?” you are not alone. A lot of parents expect postpartum mental health struggles to look like sadness or crying. But for many people, it looks more like anger.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Am I messing up my child?” you’re not alone. It’s an easy question to fall into, especially if you already tend toward perfectionism, or feel pressure to get parenting “right.” You might replay moments in your head: something you said a time you lost patience a reaction you wish you could take back And suddenly it doesn’t feel small. It feels like it matters in a big way. Like you might be getting this wrong. Am I messing up my child?